2nd of Feb.

You may wonder why I'm going back to the 2nd of Feb when it's already the 6th of Feb.

Just as some of you might have known or might not have known 2nd of February is an important day to me. The day of the Feast of the Presentation of the Lord -in other words, the last day of Christmas, and no Christmas doesn't last for 12 days, or at least it does, COMMERCIALLY.

The day I was baptised as a Catholic. 15 years of my life. What have I accomplished for God? A lot I daresay, and the road is still long for me. So what if I'm a teenager who's not earning? So what if I'm not legal. There's so much for me to give to others. SO MUCH. Not money. Not material comfort. But I can give them God.

And, the day the world came crumbling down on me. Not bothered, some of you seem, but I'm going to type it out anyway.
A blood relative of mine, you can call him the sole breadwinner of the house, had just lost his job.
And his reaction? A can't be bothered attitude.
Bottling things up are bad, and I'm not letting this out to gain your sympathy. Instead, what I want is for you to know that sh** happens. And there are trying times which require you to stand up, and show the world what you're really made of.
I guess for you to be reading this, you would have reached an age where you would have realised through life's experiences that sh** indeed does happen.

And the only thing that pushes me on? Jesus. His love, his sacrifice.
Thanks.

I was just talking to my mother a few hours ago, and she was telling me about her previous boyfriends, how good they were, how rich they were. As I listened, I felt a great sense of indifference growing in me. Indifference towards the man who cannot be bothered with his duties any longer.

'Why then, did my mother marry such a man, and allow herself to be put through such torment?' I asked myself.
'To teach me to look out for the right man? To teach me to be an independent lady? It's all God's will' I thought to myself eventually.
Would I be here right now, living through all this sh**, learning all that I need to bring me through life's trials, if it wasn't God's will?
Would I be here right now, making sure that whatever I do, mistakes are minimised?
And, would I be here right now, ministering to others?
The answer to the above three questions, No.

Then again I ask myself. Why indifference? Why can't I make a change, to stir in him a desire to carry out his duties as a father?
I blame myself, for not having the courage. Courage to even communicate with the one who (half) brought me into this world. The one who has brought me up for the past 15 years of my pathetic life.
If he's not going to take the first step, I will. A history maker -that's what I am. And Nat, all you need to do, is JIAYOU.


God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful worldas it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
--Reinhold Niebuhr